Feelings.

hello guys. it's been almost a year since i've posted a post. hahaha :'D i've been quite busy every now and then, yelah kan. SPM is there waiting for me this november. Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So, how's your life? haha don't ask mine, it goes quite hard moment. i mean, the hard phase is really in love with me. yeahh, yeahh. haha ;) sokayy lah. 

For this week I've been thinking about my feelings. I don't know how to describe it is. I fall in love? Fall in love? With the one who love somebody else? Left me like DUMB ASS. But it is hard to forget somebody that I've love for quite new. Like everyday I kept on thinking about the one I call actually a stranger last year. I hope nobody know who it is. Or should I just kill myself and let everybody knows including that person? Ohh no, I'm going to die as a doctor or engineer or maybe a lawyer. haha . What is your opinion about my not-so-clear situation? Should I go back and waiting for that person and just keep on hoping+wasting my time or just go on. Oh this question, I should use my brain to ask my heart. But my brain won't process it so my heart would give the answer like this " just go back because you love that person, you really love that person like there is nobody else. I don't want you to be hurt, so fall in love back." But, it does hurt me as well. I also have my own secret admires *BEING BOASTED for a whileeeee. Hehew. But, my heart is keeps on telling me to love that person. What kind of person? Hmm.

Dear The Person I really fall in love with :
  

     Hey, I'd really missed you since you've been away. Like seriously, I wasted my times just for you? Should I go back to you? Or not? Sometimes I can't predict your unpredictable personality. you are just so different from others. You are really unique. For meeeee! When I left you that day, you didn't say anything. You just did that. You didnt have any words from your mouth. I'm dumbed. You left me like a stupid. Ohh how I hate you that day until I cried for like thousand times. * Ohh noo! It is my secret!!! Hmm, it was so hurting. I was like going to suicide. You're the reason why I don't have can't go through my day like usual! Thankyou -,-'. Oh by the way, didn't you recognize that all my words were meant for you. It is all for you. All the hatred I said. It were all for you. I wish I could forget you like How you forgot me. :/

Tonight, I kept on thinking about you. And still wondering, do you ever thought about me? Even just for a  second. Because I think about you for 25 hours a day. Hm, You did treat me like nobody else. And that's gave me a hopes. Stop giving people hopes. Hope is so precious especially for a person like me. Because, I really hope that  at least you can be mine for a day. Even just for a day. But still, maybe I could continue hoping. Right? But seriously, take me away for a day and we get back late at night. I will sleep and when I wake up, I promise I won't bother you even if I'm suffering. Seriously.

I WILL MAKE SURE TO KEEP MY DISTANCE, SAY I LOVE YOU WHEN YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.

WISH BEFORE SLEEP : I hope that you'll read this. I really love you and tonight I keep on thinking of this. I really want to get out of this. I hope you CAN START THE CONVERSATION like how I usually do. I really want to be yours, and you to be mine even though for a day. But if I couldn't, I still can bare even if it will kill me. Seriously it is agonizing to see you're happy without me. Yet, I also happy if you are happy. Good night. Good night... 

Night peeps. Thankyou for the reading :')