Have you ever thought?

Hai guys and girls. For today i would like to start my post with a question. Have you ever thought? emm. what eh? Haaaaaaa

Have you ever thought you meant a lot to someone and then you find out that you're just one person out of so many others that they talk to. and compare to the way they talk to the other people, you are really just nothing? :'(

But at some point, I have to realize that some people can stay in my heart. but not in my life. but somehow. to be happy we have to forget about what's gone or what is not meant to be yours. and look forward to what's coming next. em em. 

for me. i would always fake a smile on my face. draw a cute smile and blow a great voice. so that, people won't ever know i'm hurts. or even i'm dying. oh god. almighty Allah why do you have to burden me with this kind of problem. 

i just want to forget all the things. how can i know you this short period of time. and we get so close. like seriously close. and i just can't stop thinking of you while you can just sleep without thinking of me. i just want to forget you forever. forever. forever. 

it's hurts when you just can remains as a friend with the one you want the most. but i'm starting to wonder if you ever really cared. and and I still like you. but i'm tired of trying. night :'( 

Tomorrow. please. be. nice. to. me. tq xoxo

it is a sad Good Night. 

P/S : oh by the way aku gaduh dengan bestfriend aku nuya. haha kau bongek lah -_- kalau kau baca post nih, kesian lah kat aku. aku tengah sedih, jgn barankan aku lagi gila. haha kirim salam Fared sayang kau tuh. aku doakan korang kawin. dah puas hati? nak sangat aku letak nama kau dalam blog ni -,- bye! 

it's me. COMPLEX

That is why every now and then, i always said that i am just the way so complex to understand. well, that is me. i am just the way who i am. and what people knows is just a part of me, i even still yet don't know what type of person i am. what is me? hahaha this is so complicated. so so complicated. because people still judges me like they know me 100%. i tell you, i also don't completely understand myself. and who are you to judge me here and there? it's a mess. i hate people. people are people :'( hmm. 

i am PARADOX. i want to be happy, but i think of things that make me sad. i'm lazy, yet i'm ambitious. i don't like myself but i also love who i am. i say i don't care, but seriously i really do. i crave for attention, but when it comes my way, i reject it. i'm a conflicted contradiction, and IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT MYSELF, THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE ELSE HAS. :'( You get it? Pleaseeeeeee make a move and stop talking about myself. I have lost so much. Everything, except my family.

i just want to be happy here in this drab world. please let me be happy while i still can. nobody knows who is me and what's happened to me right? pleaseee let me be happy for a while. yeahh, every day i smile. every moment i laugh. i really love to smile and laugh, because i want people around me to make me happy. eventhough it's hurt. just let me and myself only know it right? hmmm. 

what hurts the MOST.

you know what hurts you the most is? for me, it is "Being "just friends" with someone you want the most". hm in my case, i would always being just friends with the one i love the most. like so many times i've been dumb by the one who i wish to be together. it's okay, i am also a teenager. right? xD falling in love is normal. it's just with whom i fall to is different. 

for this time, i fell for somebody who love somebody else. it's like i'm running for no reason. i'm chasing for somebody who chase someone else. but truthfully, you never supposed to mean this much to me, i was never supposed to fall this hard. but you know what? i did that's the truth, that's what keep me holding on. because it hurts like HELL  to let you go. :( 

entah lah. I thought you were different to others. but i'm wrong. hah, like usually i'm wrong lah. :') 

it's my fate to be fall in love with you. i hope you would ever at least notice me. once.

i am the type of person who is always smile and loves to laugh. if you are falling down, i will be right there to pick you up. i'm the one who always says sorry, even if it is not my fault. even if i'm feeling like the scum of the earth, I WILL NEVER LET YOU KNOW. This is me, the one who is afraid to love, because I have already lost so much! :(